I'm 40. If you're in your 20s or 30s Read This:
22 Rules (time, money, work, and life) I wish I knew earlier
I just turned 40, and without any dramatic moment, I realized how much I’ve changed. I’m not the same person I was in my twenties, or even in my thirties. I’ve rushed things that needed time, waited when I should have moved, and listened to voices that were never meant to guide my life.
Over the years, life taught me lessons the hard way about time, work, money, relationships, and myself. This post is not advice or a formula to follow. These are simply the rules I live by today, shaped by experience and mistakes.
Take what resonates with you. Leave the rest.
Rule 01 – Everything Takes Time
Nothing real grows fast:
• Your body changes slowly
• Your skills compound slowly
• Your money grows slowly
Modern life sells speed. Fast results. Instant change. Those shortcuts always charge interest later.
Time will pass anyway. Build things that last.
“The long path is the real shortcut.”
Rule 02 – It Is Never Too Late
Being “too late” is usually just fear in disguise.
I’ve seen capable people stop themselves because they compare timelines and assume they missed their chance. Time doesn’t care. It keeps moving whether you act or not.
Every meaningful thing in my life started later than I thought it should. Starting anyway changed everything.
It is never too late. Time will move forward with or without you.
Rule 03 – Don’t Talk About Your Plans
Talking creates a fake sense of progress.
When you explain your plans in detail, your brain feels rewarded before the work is done. Encouragement replaces execution. Energy leaks into words instead of action.
Share direction if you must. Keep details to yourself. Work quietly.
“Execute first, Show results later, Celebrate after!”
Rule 04 – Don’t Compare Yourself With Others
Comparison never tells the full story.
Everyone starts from a different place. Different backgrounds, support, timing, and luck. Timelines are not comparable.
You only see the wins. You don’t see the sacrifices, the struggles, or the failures behind them. That’s why copying someone else’s path never works.
“Run your own race. Comparison leads nowhere”
Rule 05 – My Life. My Rules
Everyone has an opinion about how you should live. Family. Culture. Social media. The system.
If you let those voices decide for you, you slowly lose control.
I listen to advice. I think about it. But I keep the final decision. This is my life, and I live with the consequences.
“Live your own life, or you will end up living someone else’s.”
Rule 06 – Take Ownership of Your Life
Blame feels comforting, but it keeps you powerless.
Life is unfair. Complaining and blaming only focus your energy on what you can’t control.
Change the question. Stop asking “Why is this happening to me?” and start asking
“What can I do about it?” There is almost always something.
Ownership gives you control back.
“Take ownership, or stay stuck.”
Rule 07 – Be Careful What You Consume
Most content is designed to trigger you.
Fear. Urgency. Anxiety. Different platforms, same game. Click now. You’re late. You’ll regret it.
News sells fear. Social media sells perfect lives. After a while, you start thinking something is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. Real life is quieter, slower, and more normal.
“Protect your mind. Most content is designed to trigger, not to help.”
Rule 08 – No One Is Coming to Save You
When life gets hard, it’s easy to wait. For help. For luck. For someone to fix things.
Support may come, but no one can fix your life for you. That responsibility never leaves your hands.
Waiting keeps you stuck. Showing up for yourself moves you forward.
“Only you can fix your life.”
Rule 09 – Protect Your Relationship
Your partner is often the longest relationship in your life.
Parents grow older and leave us.
Children grow up and move on.
Friends get busy with work and family.
A relationship is not a competition. There is no winning an argument. If one person loses, both lose.
Protect it, especially when things get hard.
“Protect your relationship. It is the longest one you will ever have.”
Rule 10 – Forgive to Move On
This one is hard.
Forgive your parents. They are not perfect. They made mistakes, often without bad intentions. They come from a different generation, with different tools. You cannot change that anymore. Forgiveness frees your energy.
Stay in touch. Call them. A short call is enough. Time moves faster than you think, and one day you will wish you had more of it.
Forgive yourself too. You will make mistakes. Learn, adjust, and move forward.
“Forgiveness makes you lighter. Lighter people move faster.”
Rule 11 – Review & Redesign Your Habits
Once a year, I take time to redesign my life.
I sit down alone, without distractions, and draw a simple timeline with three versions of myself: my younger self, my current self, and my future self.
I ask:
“What did I do well? What mistakes did I make?”
“Who do I want to become next?”
To answer that, I use a simple framework with five columns:
• Keep – habits that already work
• Start – habits I want to add
• Stop – habits that hurt me
• More – good habits I want more of
• Less – things I need to reduce
“Small habit changes, reviewed regularly, shape a better version of you each year..”
Rule 12 – Daily 30-Minute Walks
Walking clears my mind better than anything else.
Almost every day, I walk for 30 minutes. No phone. No music. No podcasts. Just walking.
Big decisions become smaller when you walk. Problems simplify. Sleep improves. Clarity follows.
It costs nothing, but over time, it changes everything.
“It costs nothing! Walk daily. Clarity follows.”
Rule 13 – Divide Your Day Based on Energy
I don’t manage my time. I manage my energy.
I split my day into three phases.
Mornings are for deep work. This is when my energy is highest. Writing, planning, solving hard problems. I protect this time.
Midday is for communication. Meetings, emails, conversations. Useful work, but not deep work.
Evenings are for life. Family, movement, rest. No big decisions. No hard problems.
I am not productive all day, and that’s fine. I am productive when it matters.
“Understand your energy, then plan your day around it.”
Rule 14 – Three Levels of Learning
Learning something new happens in three levels.
I split my day into three phases.
Level 1: Consuming
You watch videos, read books, listen to podcasts. You understand the idea, but watching someone else do something does not mean you can do it. This level only opens the door.
Level 2: Practicing
This is where learning becomes real. You try, you get stuck, you make mistakes, and you move slowly. The struggle is not a problem. It is how knowledge is built in your brain.
Level 3: Teaching
This is the hidden level. When you explain something to others, you discover what you don’t fully understand. Teaching forces clarity, structure, and fills the gaps.
“You don’t really learn until you practice, and you don’t fully understand until you teach.”
Rule 15 – Learn Financial Literacy
I never understood why the most important life skill, how money works, is not taught in school.
Financial literacy is not about getting rich fast. It is about avoiding expensive mistakes and protecting yourself. Without it, decisions are based on guessing and trends, and that usually ends in loss.
A few simple rules I follow:
Live below your means
If you can’t explain where your money goes, you’re not in control
Always keep an emergency buffer
Don’t rely on one income source
Get-rich-fast is a scam
Don’t try to time the market
“Learn how money works before money teaches you the hard way.”
Rule 16 – Stability First, Freedom Later
This is the money model that worked for me.
Step 1: Get a stable job.
Nothing fancy. Work, get paid. This phase gives stability and a strong base.
Step 2: Invest what’s left.
Even a small amount. Over time, money and time work quietly in the background.
Most people stop here, and that’s okay. But you still depend on one job.
Step 3: Build side projects.
Something you enjoy. Something that takes time. It may fail, and that’s fine. You gain skills. Or it grows and creates freedom. That’s what happened to me.
“Stability first. Freedom later. No shortcuts.”
Rule 17 – Play the Long Game
I invest simply and consistently.
No daily tracking. No news watching. No stress. I invest regularly and leave it alone.
Yes, some people got rich fast with things like Bitcoin. Many more lost money just as fast, and those stories rarely make it to the media. That’s not my style.
I don’t chase luck. I build slowly.
“Simple, consistent, and long-term beats stress and guessing.”
Rule 18 – Complaining Is a Career Killer
Every job has problems. That’s normal. The mistake is dealing with them by constantly complaining.
Repeated complaining drains the energy of motivated people and adds weight to those who are already struggling. Over time, you get labeled as negative, people avoid you, and you slowly damage the team culture.
There are only three healthy ways to deal with problems at work:
• Ignore it if it’s out of your control
• Fix it by bringing a solution, not just a complaint
• Leave if it truly matters and nothing changes
“Fix it, ignore it, or leave. Complaining kills careers..”
Rule 19 – Know When to Stay and When to Leave
If your ideas are always ignored and nothing changes, it’s time to leave.
I don’t leave just because work gets hard. Pressure and disagreements exist everywhere. But I never stay where there is no respect. Once an environment becomes toxic, that is a clear signal.
The other danger is staying too long. Comfort can stop growth. When learning stops, risk starts.
My rules:
• Don’t leave because it’s hard
• Don’t stay without respect
• Don’t stay too long without learning
Rule 20 – Don’t Burn Out. Don’t Check Out
At work, I’ve seen two extremes:
The Burnout Trap
Long hours. No rest. No life outside work. Health and relationships get sacrificed with the hope that the job will take care of you. Most of the time, it doesn’t.
The Checked-Out Trap
Doing the bare minimum. Avoiding responsibility. Waiting for the day to end. Work already takes part of your life. Hiding from it gives nothing back.
Both extremes lead to the same place.
“Give your best without burning out. Stay engaged without losing your life.”
Rule 21 – Colleagues Are Not Friends
People at work can be friendly, but work is still work. When you forget that, you overshare, and it often comes back to hurt you.
“Be kind. Be respectful. Be professional.”
Rule 22 – Communicate Your Work
I’ve seen many great people do great work that no one knows about. Not because it isn’t valuable, but because no one is tracking it.
People are busy. If you stay silent, your value stays invisible.
If you’ve built something useful, share it. Write about it. Present it to your team. Talk about it. This is not bragging. Someone out there needs what you built and doesn’t know it exists.
Clear communication helps others, and it helps you. Your work gets recognized, your impact becomes visible, and opportunities follow.
“Good work unseen is good work wasted.”
So my friends,
These are the rules I live by today. I’m somewhere in the middle of my life, and I know I’ll still make mistakes. But I’m committed to learning from them.
If I had to reduce everything to a few foundations, it would be this:
I play the long game. I don’t rush.
I don’t take things personally, because most things aren’t about me.
I don’t live my life based on other people’s expectations.
I never lose sight of what matters most.
My health. My family. Everything else comes after.
You don’t have to follow my rules. We all walk different paths and face different realities. Take what resonates with you. Leave the rest.
If this helped you pause, reflect, or adjust even one small thing, then it served its purpose. I wish you peace, clarity, and a life you’re proud to look back on.
Have a wonderful day ❤️
Baraa
Also, here are 4 complete roadmap videos if you’re figuring out where to start:
📌 Data Engineering Roadmap
📌 Data Science Roadmap
📌 Data Analyst Roadmap
📌 AI Engineering Roadmap
Hey friends —
Hey, I’m Baraa, a Data Engineer with over 17 years experience, Ex-Mercedes Benz, where I led and built one of the biggest data platforms for analytics and AI.
Now I’m here to share it all through visually explained courses, real-world projects, and the skills that will get you hired. I’ve helped millions of students transform their careers.
is it weird that I read all that in your voice? big fan here...
watched so many videos of you that I now read your writings in your voice...
“so my friends ” 😂😂😂
I am creeping up on 30 and really enjoyed this.